Relationship that impacted me

A relationship is an interaction between two or more people that facilitates the process of identification of one another. Relationships can be divided into 4 types, which are those with peers, parents, family, and the social environment. In addition, there are positive and negative relationships. A positive relationship occurs when both parties who interact feel mutually beneficial to each other and are characterized by compatible reciprocity. A negative relationship occurs when one party feels highly favored and the other party feels disadvantaged. In this case, there is no reciprocal coordination between the interacting parties. Thus, the relationship can determine the level of closeness and comfort between the parties interacting. The closer the parties are, the more the relationship will be taken to a higher level.

Family

The family is the basic unit of a community. Every family member must strive to maintain family life by looking after the welfare of family members. A family is a group of people with the bonds of marriage, birth, and adoption that aim to create, maintain, and enhance the physical, mental, emotional, and social development of each family member.

Being an adopted child is actually not an easy thing. Based on my experience, I need a high level of mental strength and patience. I was often bullied at school because of this status. In fact, I am also always questioned by people around when they realize there is something different between me and my family members. For example, asking sensitive issues, comparing, underestimate because they think every talent, manner and behavior is closely related to heredity, looked down upon and so on. Accordingly, this has put tremendous pressure on me throughout my growing up. I feel very disturbed by the attitude of some people because they consider blood ties more important to call themselves an absolute family. I’ve been through a lot, including the rebellion phase. However, all of this has taught me to be a better human being day by day. I do not agree if the family title should be measured only on blood ties alone because sometimes our own family itself is capable of betraying us.

Peers

“Friendship” is a term used to indicate cooperative behavior and helpfulness between two or more people. It occurs between people who have intellectual and emotional similarities. The value of friendship usually comes from an individual who displays behaviors such as a tendency to desire what is best for the other party, sympathy and empathy, honesty, especially in terms of emphasizing the other party’s weaknesses, and understanding.

I find it very difficult to make friends and to maintain those relationships. While in elementary school, many friends avoided me because they misunderstood. For them, smart children do not deserve to hang out among them. They often used harsh words to taunt me, so that I would not continue to approach them. I used to be humble in education so that they didn’t feel stressed hanging out with me. Although at first, the action was successful. However, our relationship did not last long due to the nature of jealousy. They have betrayed my good intentions. No matter what I did, they remained unsatisfied. So, I’m having trust issues. It’s hard for me to trust people. Although there were a few people around me who treated me well. I still feel insecure for fear of being betrayed again. However, I remain grateful that there are still people who call themselves my friends. Although not many.

Love

Love is a basic human experience of being willing to sacrifice for others’ feelings of attraction and connection to nature, living things, or other beings. It can be manifested through feelings, emotions, behaviors, thoughts, perceptions, and attitudes. It influences, underlies, and determines the main patterns of relationships between the individual and self-identification.

I am often haunted by the past stories of those who failed in relationships. Some happened to me, and some to others. I also failed in a love relationship. The most unforgettable experience I ever had was when I fell in love with a very cunning man for 6 years. I admit, my life is so chaotic because of this guy. What if I never meet him? What is my fate going to be? Probably not this bad. However, this has already happened, and there is nothing I can do but get up and move on. Although I’m still not completely healed. I’m not going to give up. I realize I look pathetic. But I wouldn’t let that guy see me being like this forever. I will prove that I am also capable of being someone to be proud of one day. Did I regret meeting that guy eight years ago? Well, I don’t know. Actually, in grief, there are also things that give pause. I have to accept that all of this is a lesson for me and hope it can change me for the better in the future.

In conclusion, a good relationship should not be bet on by any party with their own personal agenda or group. There needs to be compassion for individuals who desire happiness in relationships in order to have the opportunity to continue surviving with success. Enough chaos and conflict as a lesson for us. We all need to be responsible for shouldering our obligations. Understanding among our fellow human beings is also very important because, through it, we will get a clear signal that harmonizing the relationship is everyone’s responsibility. 

A time I was challenged and how I faced it.

Challenges are the endurance of one’s faith against the trials that befall. Every human being will not escape any of it. When it comes to all groups, whether small or large, old or young, rich or even poor, all will surely be challenged. Still, am I prepared to face all of these challenges?How do I deal with it?




Accepting the fact that I am an adopted child



An adopted child is another person’s child who is raised as his or her own child. If the adoption process is done by law (mandatory in most countries), the adopted child has the same rights as the child himself.



At first, I was very surprised. I can’t accept it because they (the adoptive family) are the family I love. I began to feel depressed and scared. I’m worried if their feelings and treatment all this time are just out of necessity. I was also afraid they would abandon me or think they didn’t need me as I grew up. When I realised the way they treated me was getting odd, I have made a lot of mistakes, and in the end, I’m drowning in my own fear. I thought they hated me so much because I was just an outsider. But I was wrong. Dad and mom never compared me. After that, I realised I didn’t need to listen to people. Moreover, these are the things that are not pleasant to hear and should not be bragging about. I should trust them (mom and dad) as much as they trust me. I have lost them. Still, I feel very lucky and thankful that their upbringing towards me was so meaningful. They have taught me so much that I am where I am now.





No friends



A friend is a person who can share more than one thing, such as interests, hobbies, feelings, struggles, and so on, even if they are not from the same organization. Friends are people who constantly interact with us and allow us to get to know some personal facts about them. We always have time to be together, have fun, and so on. Friendship usually occurs when a person meets another individual who has similarities such as hobbies, interests, attitudes, habits, and thoughts similar to their own. We often feel fun and entertained when we are with friends.



I was once isolated from friends while in elementary school. I have no friends other than peers who go to the same school and class. I tried to change myself to be accepted. Although I had to pretend to be an unwise person because they do not like smart and passionate kids. People like me annoy them. Actually acting in such a way does not please me at all. I feel it is disturbing, fake and unfair. So, I stopped trying to please others and be myself. While many don’t like it, I don’t care because my life isn’t just about satisfying everyone. I feel grateful, even though I don’t have many friends. But, there are still some among them who consider themselves as my friends.





Can’t continue studying



” Demand knowledge highly all the way up to China.” That is a parable that shows how important it is to seek knowledge in our lives. There is no point in pursuing knowledge, which is not the end after you have a degree, but knowledge must be sought all the time.



When I was 20 years old, I got an offer to continue studying in the field of TESL. I am very happy that my application was accepted. However, there was no sustenance for me to fulfil that dream. However, the spirit must endure. Until now, I have never given up on learning. I always do the things I love. For example, in the field of language. I am very interested in the variety of languages in this world. Believe it or not, I never imagined myself being able to write, spell, and read Hangul (Korean Alphabet). As long as there is enthusiasm, I will continue to learn. If there is my sustenance with God’s permission, I will fulfil my dreams and ambitions that have been disrupted.

In conclusion, I faced my challenge through a lot of mistakes and failures. But, it taught me to never give up and prove that I’m wrong. I’m not a loser, and I can be proud of myself. So, let us face every problem with patience, contentment, and gratitude for all the blessings that God has given. Whether the favours are in physical and material form or health favors, children, relatives and others. Let patience and prayer be our helpers to face every temptation that we face. May it be useful for all.

Goals I would like to work toward in the next 5 years

A goal is a situation in which a plan needs to be achieved. It also refers to the outcome achieved when a treatment is completed. For example, Amir practises badminton hard, whether in the gym or at home. Amir’s goal is to become a national badminton athlete.

What are my goals for the next 5 years?

In the next 5 years (2026), I want to end my bachelorhood. Although I still do not know who the candidate is, I hope that one day there will come someone who can accept me as I am and he will be willing to spend the rest of his life with me in difficult and happy times. Most importantly, this time I will not be betrayed again.

You must be wondering why I have to get married when I can pursue happiness even alone. In fact, I once lost two of my parents. So, I can’t imagine what it’s like to live in this world alone. Building a small family and having children is also one of my dreams. At least in my old age, I will not be lonely. So, to fulfil this goal, I need to dare to go out and learn to socialise with the community (making new friends). I have to start learning how to fix my trust issues.

I want to buy my first house with my own efforts. Not only that, I want to accumulate important assets before I die. All my life, living with a stranger, made me realise that the asset was essential. Although I’m not the materialistic type, in the past, I thought I would live with my family for the rest of my life. However, experience taught me to persevere and be independent.

Imagine when we are falling to our own level of not being sure if we can afford to eat or not, and there is no one who can help us at that moment. Including my own family. Our lives are erratic: stay and renting in people’s places, working and not being paid as promised, burdened with debt, and being evicted. So, I don’t want this to happen to me or my generation. So I had to work hard and start making money. People might say It’s too late now. But, It’s better late than never!

I want to travel the world. My childhood dream was to be a stewardess because I wanted to get on a plane. Believe it or not, I’ve never been on a plane. I also don’t have a passport because I’ve never been abroad. But I hope in the next 5 years, I will get a passport and plane tickets. I can travel to my favourite places such as Hawaii, Korea, Japan, Santorini, Paris, Egypt, Istanbul, and more.

What are the benefits of goal-setting?

If we set certain measurable goals and we achieve all the conditions of the goal, then we can feel confident and comfortable with the achievement. We also need to set goals at the right level. Setting goals at the right level is a skill gained through experience. You need to set achievable goals.

How to set goals?

We must think about the goal in detail. Such as: What skills do I need to achieve this goal? What information and knowledge do I need? What help or cooperation do I require? What resources do I require? What can hinder progress? Am I making assumptions? Is there a better way to do something? What is my real goal? What is a good form of work? Are my goals achievable? Does my goal make sense? Can my goals be tracked?

Describing my personality





What exactly is a personality? As far as I understand, personality is something that shapes us. Personality influences our behaviour, abilities, habits, and mindset. But, according to what I found on the internet, personality is the characteristic set of behaviours, cognitions, and emotional patterns that evolve from biological and environmental factors. It is formed by the ongoing interaction of temperament, character, and environment. It displayed more than just behaviour. Likewise, it can also be seen in our thoughts, feelings, close relationships, and other social interactions. In addition, personality traits appeared to influence a variety of measures of well-being. For example, personality is something like genuine, future oriented, conscientiousness, openness, etc.


So, what is my personality???


I am genuine, responsible, and caring. I believe I am primarily focusing on what’s going on around me, and I’m especially concerned with the wellbeing of others. Not only that, but I’m always willing to help other people when needed, and I enjoy doing so. I form deep relationships with those close to me. I am also insightful, future-oriented, and conscientious because I have a vision for the future and have a decisive plan about the best means of meeting these goals. Likewise, I make decisions by going with my gut. My values play a large role in driving my decision-making process, and I always try to act in accordance with my values.


My secondary focus is internal, where I make judgments based primarily on my intuition. I learned that I operate largely internally, and I am able to see the “big picture” very easily. I’m generally able to understand things through my strong sense of intuition, and I often can’t pinpoint specific reasons. Regarding the outer world, I am highly organized, and I’m typically able to handle several tasks simultaneously. I’m excellent at setting priorities and developing plans.


I also learned that I possess an incredibly high degree of empathy, leading me to always see the best in others. Because of this ability, I sometimes place too much trust in others. This makes it easy for others to disappoint me or take advantage of me.


In addition, I truly value my relationships with others, and frequently tend to put the needs of others before my own. Because of this, I learned that I must be careful not to make choices and define my priorities based solely on what others want because this may result in neglecting my own needs and losing my sense of purpose. It is critical that I do not sacrifice my own wellbeing and aspirations to help others. I may find myself tired, stressed, and burnt out.


Although I have very strongly held beliefs, I often have difficulty revealing my true identity and values. I’m a very deep, complex person. Because I’m a natural at interacting with and understanding people, I may be “chameleon-like” in interactions instead of revealing my true self. Finally, I regularly seek out the opinions of others, but may have a hard time accepting criticism. I may become reliant on others ’approval to validate my self-worth.

So, what are your personalities? Share with me.


Values that matter

Values are standards by which we evaluate actions, people, things, or situations. Your values are the things that you believe are important. It determines your priorities and probably the measures you use in life. For example, loyalty, compassion, honesty, kindness, integrity, selflessness, etc. 

In this article, I will share the values that are very important to me.

INTEGRITY

Integrity is the quality of having strong moral principles. A person with integrity acts with honesty, honour, and truthfulness. For example, taking responsibility and accountability for your actions, good and bad. This value is very important to me because it taught me to do the right thing and not be selfish. A person who lacks integrity will be dishonest and untrustworthy. I don’t want to be that person because I hate liar.

COMPASSION

Compassion is concern for the sufferings and misfortunes of others, or how you relate to someone’s situation. For example, you might help someone when they’re in trouble. This value is also important to me because it taught me to be more grateful for what I have; not easily greedy, judgmental, or insulting to others. In fact, we can help and give a new ray of hope to those in need. Everyone deserve to shine.

 APPRECIATE

Appreciation is when you see the full worth of others. Appreciating someone makes people feel good about what they do. It makes them feel better about themselves. For example, you’re so happy  when your family says that they are very proud of you. This value is the most important of all time because it is one way for us to show gratitude and love. At least it makes us feel needed.

In conclusion, value is something that can be formed and nurtured in a person. Values are also able to change an individual’s life to a more positive. Yet, there are also values that are negative and capable of ruining the future and the world. Examples of negative values are prejudices and discrimination. Therefore, we must give awareness to all, regardless of age, about the importance of positive values in human life so that we can both live happier and successful lives. 

I hope you find your values soon.